Emotional Terrors in the Workplace: Protecting Your Business Bottom Line - Emotional Continuity Management in the Workplace

Guess which employees do not like rules, laws and regulations? You guessed it! Emotional Terrorists operate by their own sets of rules. But they don't adhere to or appreciate the use of rules that create order, peace , awareness, accountability, compassion, and reason. Each business has to design, implement and police its own rules according to specific industry standards, products, services, missions, visions , policies and goals. Rules can be inhibitive and punitive, or they can add to a cohesive sense of order and direction. Most civilized peoples agree that a ruleless society breeds chaos. And if you recall, chaos is what Emotional Terrorists use to exploit situations for their own agenda.

There are already rules for safety and procedural process and rules for social order in your organization. There are rules that everyone is comfortable with and rules that make people nervous. Some rules trigger emotions in people who have been abused or held in oppressive environments. These employees may struggle with authority but will eventually adjust well if they are supported. This is different than Emotional Terrorists who are merely trying to take authority away from someone to have it themselves .

A pleasing rule that your company might use is one from the health care industry, that when translated from the Latin states "First Do No Harm." This exquisite concept from medical traditions could be a practical and compassionate rule for all human beings. Doing no harm is often translated into some version of a Golden Rule "Do unto others" guideline. Of course doing no harm also means doing no harm to the self. A trained lifeguard does not jump into the churning surf on a rescue mission until well grounded in personal safety. It serves no one to risk your own well-being impulsively if your well-being can easily be safeguarded with a simple piece of equipment like a rule, an idea, tool, or policy. It is important to develop safe boundaries, guidelines and backup systems, but establish operating rules prior to the onset of any process. When you are ready then you can make your own rulebook.

What are the current rules of your organization or industry? Does everyone play by the same rules? Who wrote your rulebook? Does your competition use that rule book also? Sports, games and work are easier when the rules are understood and when all the other teams are playing by the same rules. Most managers try to create a team spirit where everyone is in the same book. If you want your company to operate like a baseball team you need to ask yourself if you have a baseball team or just a bunch of people who happen to show up at the same time in the same place ” but with different agendas . Emotional Terrorists have their rules and rulebooks, so it makes sense that you should also. Read the following list and think about the rules in your company. Read the list again as you might if you were an Emotional Terrorist. Rules are rules, and games are games.

A Sample Rulebook

• Like the saying goes, nobody is just a "little bit pregnant." You either are or you are not. In the same way nobody on staff, in any capacity, is a little bit part of the staff, you either are or you are not. It is called commitment, loyalty, or focus.

• In many areas of life there are gray areas. If you are on a team there is no gray, you are in or you are out. Being on a team means getting off the proverbial fence and deciding allegiance. In or Out defines the essence of the Us-or-Them competitive nature of the universe. Good Guys and Bad Guys, Our Home Team vs. The Other School, Shirts and Skins, Guys against the Gals, Winners and Losers. When you are on a team, whether it be a team bound for glory or a team bound for selfish purpose, there is a natural occurring boundary of belongingness once goal-centered activities begin. As energy is directed and devoted to purpose, those who are with that driving force become more clearly defined as being "Us or Them," insiders or outsiders, a player or an observer, active or passive. Even passive observers define their allegiances by who they are cheering for, the t-shirts they buy, and the banners they wave. This is called membership, allegiance, alignment, engagement, joining forces, signing up, good faith, and loyalty. "Are you with us or against us?"

• You can't be on the team if you are a Tornado personality. Tornadoes risk the goal being met, so team members need to manage their emotions within a certain agreed-upon level.

• Tornadoes are forces that do not adhere to a policy of "for the good of the all" and have their own agendas, usually destructive. All teams, whether positive or negative, ultimately eliminate any disruptive Tornado personality from their ranks due to its unpredictable and uncontrollable nature. Tornado personalities are eliminated because they are risky to the goals and produce non-productive forces.

• If you are not in good shape, are injured, sick or distracted, you are less focused on our mission and might become a risk to our success. We want you strong and committed. We are willing to help but you also need to be willing to do self-care. You are valuable . Take care of yourself.

• "To thine own self be true" is a good place to start being accountable. Many psychologists believe that all behavior, good, bad or ugly, is chosen for the sole purpose of self care, enhancement, protection or survival. Philosophers love to discuss the roots of altruism. Be that as it may, people who do not take care of themselves first, become fragmented and less able to make clear and accurate perceptions over time. Survival is our natural, instinctive order. This is a human default position. We can rise above that to join with civilization in groups and teams, but not if we are not safe and whole at our core .

• Pulling your weight, being there for others in a crunch, backing each other up, loyalty, support, honor and celebration makes the sum of our parts bigger than each unit alone. We are valuable. Help us take care of us.

• Team accountability can also be called Loyalty or Affiliation . If you are wearing a team's colors, you represent the team. In today's global marketplace there are such diverse affiliations that adherence to loyalty levels and obligations depend upon the team mission and goals. But in most industries it is clear, within that framework, which loyalties are counterproductive.

• You do your part and when you are not center court you still remain in active anticipation in case the ball is tossed your way.

• Picture an NBA Basketball team member dribbling a ball down the court. He bends his knees slightly, slows his pace, scoops up the ball to pass it to someone and no one is available. The other members are doing their nails , talking on cell phones, making arrangements for dinner, primping, on the internet, talking to the guy on the bench, or just gazing into space. Team members anticipate the next play with the goal in mind. They are alert, alive , awake and enthusiastic. They are present and accounted for. Team members know that the ball might be tossed their way, and sometimes the pesky ball just comes flying. They are in a heightened state of expectancy and tuned in.

• No one gets to the Olympics, the Superbowl, or Carnegie Hall without constant, consistent, daily, repetitive practice, drills, practice, drills and more drills.

• Practice makes perfect is an invalid statement. If you are practicing it incorrectly, it will never be perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. But practice. Now, do it again.

• Not unlike a mathematician who finds the worth in trying to solve the unsolvable Pi, our team members are committed to the process as well as the outcome.

• You can't play if you aren't here, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. Wherever you go... there you are. So be here when you are here.

• If there is a game on Thursday, team members suit up in the right uniform, grab the right equipment and get to the playing field a few minutes early. It doesn't matter what team you are on, you are either there or you are not there. If you do not show up and play you eventually get cut from the list. People can work at less than 100%, but what percentage of "presence" can your organization tolerate ? The neurosurgery industry should demanded 100%.

• All life is about change. Stay current.

• Healthy people pay attention and learn to adjust when necessary to grow with the team. Living things are constantly in a process of change and you may need to adapt to unexpected and unpredictable things on a regular basis. You may have been hired because you are a star, but a star only remains a star if they stay one step ahead. You may have been hired because you are a steady contributor , keep it up, and you may end up the star if the star slows down and tries to ride the wave of yesterday and gets bullet proof. Stay awake.

• Healthy adult behavior is about making good choices. To not be a victim or a perpetrator means making choices which are ethical and appropriate and having the faith that those choices will serve to lead you and perhaps your organization to higher ground. Higher ground is a good place to be when the floods come.

• Emotional Terrorists are like drug dealers who deal a nasty substance called FEAR. They spread a line of fear like cocaine and invite you to snort it up. In fact, they may actually put your nose in it hoping you will get hooked instantly. Nice people don't even see it coming. Emotional Terrorists can deal you a fear snort in a variety of interesting and subtle forms. The targeted person may feel a sense of specialness and power and then fear they are going to lose that status. The targeted person may fear for their reputation, status, job or general security and the dealer will "reassure" them to groom dependence. Dealers groom their victims. Once the drug is in your system, you are a hostage to how it plays out in the system. Once a FEAR THOUGHT is in the system, it has to work its way out, just like any other drug. Sometimes it just slips through and is ventilated, and other times it may hit an important organ and all bets are off. Sometimes it kills instantly. If someone deals you a chemical drug at work you'd probably say NO. But if someone offers you the drug of Fear, in the form of a rumor or threat or scary idea that may affect your job security, you might just snort it up into your spirit and become afraid. Do the same thing as if they were offering you heroin publicly . Just back away from the dealer and say "no." Fear is probably the most powerful drug that can be put into the human system or organizational system. It comes in a variety of pretty and ugly packages. The forms are as varied as the dealers.