Face It. Recognizing and Conquering The Hidden Fear That Drives All Conflict At Work

I have learned from the writings of Ken Wilber, a philosopher and theorist of consciousness, that there are three main phases to most elevations in consciousness. They make perfect sense and they tend to point to the exact value of learning your operating strategy.

• The first phase is defined by your being identified with a certain perspective . That is, in the same way that you become identified with your feelingsyou feel as if the feeling has overtaken you, that you are the feelingyou become one with your point of view.

• The second phase is when you disidentify from that perspective . You realize that you have been identified with your view and on realizing it, suddenly free yourself from it. Thats the nature of our three-dimensional consciousness. When we observe ourselves , we become the subject, the observer. The thing we observe becomes the object. Before we reach this point, when we are identified, there is no real split between subject and object. But when we observe, the magic of disidentification occurs.

• The third phase involves integrating the two perspectives . We amalgamate what we like about the first one with the wisdom that comes from being the observer. For example, the attention-seeker , busy seeking attention, is identified with the action of seeking attention. It is who he is. He knows nothing different. When he becomes aware that this is what he tends to do, he disidentifies. He is an observer of himself. He suddenly knows better and realizes that he is, at times, disruptive and overly consuming of others time. Knowing the difference, he continues to periodically seek attention, but he is more selective.

When you learn your operating strategy, you suddenly become able to reject it, if you choose. Or, you may just go with your traditional operating strategy anyway. But you do know the difference. By defining it, you objectify it. You are no longer lost in your operating strategy. You merely have an operating strategy. You have transcended the robotic programming and you have choice.

There is a real you in there somewhere, someone who doesnt necessarily become burdened with a narrow operating strategy, someone who is not driven by uncontrolled ego responses or driven to develop a false self whose behavior is a response to childhood feelings of comply or suffer. This is not to say that there is a real self. No, we have already eliminated that possibility. But there is an object-focused, nonjudgmental, compassionate person with interests and skills who is free. By freeing yourself of your robotic responses, you become open to the possibility of unbounded authenticity.