Internet Annoyances: How to Fix the Most Annoying Things about Going Online

ZAP IMAGES FOR FASTER AMAZON SHOPPING

The Annoyance:

My slow dial-up connection takes forever to display all the graphics when I shop on Amazon. Can I shop faster without the pointless graphics?

The Fix:

Amazon's text-only site (http://www.amazon.com/text) displays pages lightning fast. The site contains the exact same content as the regular site, but without the pictures (see Figure 10-11).

SHOP AMAZON WITH YOUR CELL PHONE

The Annoyance:

Last week at my local bookstore, I saw what I thought was a great deal on the collected short stories of Ernest Hemingway. The sale was about to end, so I didn't have time to go home and check the Amazon price. I bought the book, went home, and found out that I could have gotten it for five dollars less on Amazon. When is Amazon going to come up with some kind of long-distance Vulcan mind meld, so I can check prices when I'm at a local store?

The Fix:

If you have an Internet-enabled cell phone or PDA, you can check Amazon's prices from wherever you are, and you won't need Mr. Spock's help (see Figure 10-12). If you have a PDA with a WAP browser, go to http://amazon.com/phone and you'll be able to shop long-distance. If you have a PocketPC, head to http://amazon.com/pocketpc,and if you have a Palm go to http://amazon.com/mypalm.

YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS AN AMAZON 800 NUMBER

The Annoyance:

Do any humans actually work at Amazon? I need to get in touch with customer service because of a minor billing error, and none of my emails with the company have solved the problem. I can't find a phone number anywhere.

The Fix:

This is an easy onedial (800) 201-7575. Of course, you'll get an automated voice system, but if you push enough buttons and hang on long enough, you'll find a live human being on the other end to answer your questions.

STOP MY $7,600 AMAZON ONE-CLICK ORDER

The Annoyance:

I just paid $7,600 for a 50-inch plasma flat-panel HDTV using Amazon's "One-Click" method of payment. I'm now suffering from buyer's remorseno, make that buyer's panic. My wife kindly pointed out that perhaps paying our daughter's tuition was more important than watching big football guys make big hits on a big TV. I know that one-click ordering means "you click it, you bought it." But is there anything I can do to stop the payment?

The Fix:

If you ordered it less than 90 minutes ago, you're in luck. Click the Your Account link at the top of any Amazon page, and edit your order by removing it from your account. The order will be canceled with no questions asked.

If you ordered it more than 90 minutes ago, get ready for delivery. However, Amazon's return policy lets you return most items within 30 days. You'll have to pay for shipping, but at least you won't be out $7,600. You can't return all items, though, and if you've bought from an Amazon "merchant" rather than Amazon itself, you'll have to deal with that merchant directly. Check the web site for details.

FIND FOREIGN BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Annoyance:

I've been brushing up on my French, and I want to read Balzac's Le Eugenie Grandet in the original, not in translation. But when I search Amazon, all I find are English translations. If Amazon is so smart, why can't it speak a foreign language?

The Fix:

An easy solution is to go to Amazon's French site (http://www.amazon.fr) and do your search there. Other Amazon foreign-language web sites include those for Germany (http://www.amazon.de) and Japan (http://www.amazon.co.jp).

Visiting one of Amazon's foreign-language sites may be the simplest way to find your book, but it's not necessarily the best way. First, you'll be ordering the book from a foreign publisher, so you'll pay substantial shipping costs. And depending on the exchange rate, you may pay a premium for the book as well.

A better bet is to search Amazon for foreign-language books published in the U.S., using Amazon's Power Search feature. First, click the Books tab on Amazon. Then click the Advanced Search link in the upper-lefthand corner of the page. Scroll down in the Search Books page until you come to the Power Search box. In the box, type:

title: Eugenie Grandet language: French

Click the Power Search Now button. You'll get a list of French-language versions of Le Eugenie Grandet (see Figure 10-13).

If you want to search by author instead, type:

author: Balzac Language: french

You can also search for books written in other foreign languages, including Italian, Spanish, German, Russian, and more.

Note that you must use title:, author:, or a similar modifier when searching (see "Find Books Fast with Amazon Power Search" for a full list of the accepted modifiers). For example, if you search for:

Eugenie Grandet Language: French

you won't get any results. Also, you can't do this type of search from the normal Amazon search boxyou have to use the Power Search box on the Search Books page.

Note: Power Search results aren't foolproofyou'll still sometimes get English-language editions. Double-check by clicking the Search Inside button and checking the book's table of contents, or looking at an excerpt.

FIND BOOKS FAST WITH AMAZON POWER SEARCH

The Annoyance:

Amazon prides itself on being the world's largest bookstore, but my problem is that it's too big. I'm looking for a hardcover edition of any book by Ernest Hemingway published before 1990, and there doesn't seem to be any way to narrow the search by format or date. When I search for Hemingway, I get hundreds of results. If I tried looking through all of them, I'd be older than the Old Man and the Sea before I finished. Help!

The Fix:

You have two options here. Click the Book tab, then the Advanced Search link in the upper-lefthand corner of the page. Your first option is to fill out the form on the Search Books page. Type Ernest Hemingway in the Author box, and select Hardcover in the Format drop-down box. In the Publication drop-down box, select Before the Year, and to the right, type 1990. Then click the Search Now button. This yields a list of 77 editions.

If you use Amazon's Power Search feature, you can narrow your search even further, using special syntax and Boolean search functions. For example, to search for a hardcover, large-print edition of any book by Ernest Hemingway published before 1990, type the following in the Power Search box and click the Power Search Now button:

author: Hemingway format: hardcover pubdate: before 1990 binding: large print

The Power Search box also lets you use Boolean operators, such as:

author: Hemingway format: (hardcover or paperback) pubdate: before 1990 binding: large print

You can use normal Boolean operators (and, or, not, parentheses). Also, remember that you have to put a colon (:) and a space after each operator, as shown in the above examples. The Amazon operators you can use in the Power Search box are:

SEARCH AMAZON FROM IE'S ADDRESS BAR

The Annoyance:

I admit itI'm an Amazon junkie. I buy everything on Amazon, from books to kitchen gadgets to electronics and CDs. But I hate waiting for the site to load before I can start my searches, and there's no Amazon toolbar for IE, like there is for Google.

The Fix:

You're rightthere's no Amazon toolbar. But you can get the equivalent functionality by changing the default search engine tied into Internet Explorer's Address Bar. The trick requires the free Internet utility called TweakUI (http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/pro/downloads/powertoys.asp). Follow these steps:

1. Download and run TweakUI.

2. In the lefthand panel, click Internet Explorer Search (see Figure 10-14).

3. Click the Create button on the right. The Search Prefix dialog box will appear.

4. In the Prefix portion of the dialog box, enter the word you want to type into Internet Explorer that tells it to search Amazonfor example, "Amzn" (see Figure 10-15).

5. In the URL portion of the dialog box, type the following, exactly as you see it:

   http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/external-search/mode=blended&keyword=%s

   Figure 10-14. To search Amazon from the Internet Explorer Address Bar, use TweakUI to change IEAPOSTs default.

   Figure 10-15. When creating a search prefix, enter a short nameyouAPOSTll be typing it a lot in the IE Address Bar!

6. Click OK, Apply, and then OK again to close all dialog boxes.

7. Close Internet Explorer and restart it. In the Address Bar, type Amzn, followed by the term you want to search, such as Internet Annoyances. You'll search Amazon and get a page of search results, just as if you had typed the term directly in Amazon's search box.

Exit the Registry and restart Internet Explorer. You can now search Amazon from the IE Address Barjust type in the phrase you want to search, and the Amazon results will be fetched for you.