Diamond Power: Gems of Wisdom from Americas Greatest Marketer

1. Know their own needs. They have a clear vision of what they want to accomplish. They know the minimum they will accept and the maximum they can ask for.

2. Know what the other side needs. They do as much research as possible before the negotiations begin. They speak to people who have been in similar situations, people who understand where the other is coming from. They are concerned with meeting the other party's needs, as well as getting what they want themselves.

3. Focus on the long-term. They're not interested in a quick fix. They're usually interested in more than just money, whether it's building a relationship, getting better benefits, or bargaining for extended service. They may give up some immediate benefits for future considerations.

4. Build strong relationships. The word "negotiate" usually brings up images of aggression and threatening behavior. In reality, it is about trusting each other and making compromises on friendly terms. Morty Davis says he always tries to find out about the personal lives of the people with whom he's negotiating—he asks about their families, their interests and hobbies. He tries to get to know the whole person, not just the business angle.

5. Build strength in numbers. Great negotiators don't put all their eggs in one basket. They have many deals going on so that if one doesn't come through, another will take its place. When you are totally dependent on the current negotiation, you're coming from a position of weakness—and there's nothing worse than being weak and coming to the table to try to convince the other party that you're strong. If you have a lot of activity going on, it allows you to keep your principles intact and to stick to your goals and parameters.

   Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.

   —Janis Joplin,musician

6. Sell the benefits. You'll never get what you want if the other party can't see what they will get out of the deal. Most people are afraid that they won't get what they need out of a deal; it's your job to help them see that there are a variety of ways you can both get what you need.

7. Have patience—with limits. Good things come to those who wait, but only the good things left after those who hustle. Patience is valuable in negotiations, but you may also need to be quick—to alter your strategy, to pick up on a new factor, or to go in a different direction altogether. Trust your instinct and allow yourself to absorb new facts as they are presented. Remember that one of the best negotiating skills is adaptability.

8. Use a combination of emotion and logic. Negotiation is, above all, an exercise in logic and clear thinking. Think about shopping for a house. You fall in love with a house, its features, and the neighborhood. You love everything about it—and the buyer can see right through you. He knows you'll pay big bucks for it because you're buying with your emotions. Whenever your emotion supersedes your reasoning power, you have lost.

   Strategy is better than strength.

   —Hausa (Nigerian) proverb

I Dare You...

When you feel as though your negotiating skills can use some pumping up, take action using these 5 strategies:

• Ask for more than you think you can get. Whether you're asking for a raise or a dollar amount in a deal, ask for the maximum you can get within reason. A successful negotiation is a win-win situation—but the person who asks for more usually gets it. In her book Marketing Yourself, Dorothy Leeds states, "Studies show that a negotiator who initially asks for more and offers to give less usually winds up obtaining more and giving less." If you're not worth what you're asking, then you're just being arrogant and the request will probably backfire. If you're worth the maximum, however—and you have the documentation to prove it—then go ahead and ask for it.

• Come to the table with a "why should I..." attitude. If you've done everything you can to build your own value, then you can say, "Why should I do business with you?" If you go on a job interview, for instance, you don't want to just sit there and answer the interviewer's questions. You should also be asking, "Why should I come to work for your company? What can you offer me?" You may not want to use those exact words, but you want to make them sell themselves to you.

• Get yourself an agent. An agent is someone who negotiates on your behalf. Of course, in the real world, it's not always possible to have someone else negotiate for you. But you can certainly call on other people who can give you advice. Say, "Here's what I'm trying to do, here's the situation, here's what they're offering. What would you do?" Find someone who is on your side, someone you can bounce ideas off of. They can be invaluable in helping you to avoid mistakes.

• Think more of yourself. We are our own worst critics. Keep a log of your own accomplishments. We never like to brag about ourselves, but we also tend to forget the things that we have achieved. Even if you don't actually mention these achievements to bolster your negotiations, you can use them to bolster your confidence.

• Let's think about it. You don't always have to make a deal on the spot. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Let me think about this," or, "Why don't we both think about ways we might be able to work this out and come back together next week?" Sometimes people are uncomfortable talking about money on the spot. It allows you time to send them materials that may increase or reinforce your value. It also shows that you're not desperate to get the business.