Coaching Handbook: An Action Kit for Trainers and Managers

The coachee reacts badly to the feedback you give.

One reaction that a coachee may have is denial. Denial is when a person says ˜That didn t happen or ˜This is not happening to me . Delusion is sometimes easier than facing reality. A person in denial will not acknowledge that a situation exists.

A coachee may also offer excuses. This is about blaming someone or something else “ ˜It s not my fault. Often blame is placed on an organization rather than an individual, particularly by those individuals who do not feel that they have any formal power (authority) to change a situation.

Finally, the coachee might suffer from ˜Ostrich syndrome . This is about burying your head in the sand and hoping that, because you cannot see what is happening, it will all go away. This is different from denial because here there is some acknowledgement that something is going on.

The role of the coach is to help the coachee to face reality, even if it is difficult and unpalatable for him or her. We do this by offering evidence to the coachee about what happened and asking probing, challenging questions which do not let the coachee off the hook. When doing this, be prepared for some adverse reactions from the coachee, such as aggression, tears, silence and/or the coachee wanting to end the relationship.

Dealing with reactions to feedback

If the person disagrees constructively:

• Listen, check your facts, get additional information.

• Give the coachee time to think over your comments.

• Be prepared to change your ideas.

If the person shifts blame:

• Ask why the coachee does this.

• Listen carefully .

• Ask what help the coachee needs to give him or her confidence.

• Ask how this help can be given.

If the person loses his or her temper:

• Listen.

• Do not argue.

• Terminate the discussion and continue later.

If the person is passive and unresponsive :

• Ask why the coachee is taking this attitude.

• Give the coachee plenty of opportunity to talk.

• Watch for any interest.

• Explain and re-explain the constructive purpose of the discussion.

• Ask plenty of open questions.

  New training or coaching needs come to light.

Whilst analysing how a task or experience has gone it might become apparent that the coachee has a training need, or that the coaching need originally identified is incorrect. Remember, a training need is where there is a gap in knowledge or skill, and a coaching need is where performance can be enhanced. Let s take an example of when one coaching need could become a different one. Say the coaching objectives are about being able to write a report; during the implementation stage of the process it becomes apparent that the coachee is now competent at writing reports , but has upset people whilst doing the research for the report. In this case the need is now about developing interpersonal skills and therefore a separate coaching relationship (maybe with the same coach) needs to be established, unless this was included in the original objectives.

If you identify a new training or coaching need, you have a number of options:

• Stop coaching and go into training mode, if you have the ability to do so “ change your role and input the missing knowledge or skill.

• Recognize the training requirement and include it in the person s development plan for a later date, to be trained by yourself or another training resource.

• Go back to Stage 2 (see Chapter 7) and re-agree the purpose and objectives of the coaching relationship. Consider with the new purpose and objectives whether you are still the most appropriate coach for this person.

End the coaching relationship “ maybe coaching is not the right solution or perhaps the need you have now identified is not a priority for the organization.