Crucial Confrontations

Stay Focused and Flexible

In this chapter we examined how to stay focused and flexible. As the model demonstrates , if fear is the emergent problem, step out of the original problem, make it safe, and if appropriate, revisit the original problem ”returning to the place you left off. If a new issue or problem emerges, choose What and If. If you decide to deal with the new problem, work through it by following the model. Then, to ensure that you don t get sidetracked, revisit the original problem ”returning to the place you left off.

• When new problems emerge, remain flexible enough to deal with them ”without getting sidetracked. Each time you step up to a new problem, it should be by choice not by accident . Choose, don t meander.

• When people feel unsafe, step out of the conversation, create safety, and then return.

• When people don t deliver on a promise because something came up, deal with it. Others need to let you know that plans may be changing as soon as they can.

• When a worse problem emerges, step out of the original problem, leave a bookmark so you ll know where to return, and then start over with the new problem. Once you ve dealt with the emergent problem, return to the original issue.

• When others become upset, retrace their Path to Action to the original source. Talking about the facts helps dissipate the emotions and takes you to the place where you can resolve the problem.

What Next ?

You ve dealt with the emergent problem ”you ve returned to and solved the original problem ”and now how do you make sure that you end well? Instead of abruptly halting or fading into oblivion, what can you do to ensure that the effort you ve made to work through a problem will lead to action? That s what we ll explore in the next chapter.