Crucial Confrontations

Explore the Six Sources of Influence

Ricky tries to understand why Elena is spending less time with him and more time at work with her ex-boyfriend. Here s what he learns.

• Elena has never owed as much money as they currently owe. Her father spent a great deal of time unemployed, and she s anxious about getting behind on their mortgage.

• She didn t want to bring up the money issue with Ricky be-cause she was afraid that she didn t know how to have the conversation without offending him.

• Elena is having a very difficult time working for her boss (her ex-boyfriend) because he seems to be punishing her for breaking up with him by being hypercritical of her work. Plus, he s not giving her all the resources she needs.

• Most late nights Elena isn t working with him; she works with her team. She s hoping to feel more secure in her job by overperforming.

• She s been less affectionate with Ricky because she s stressed and tired and because she s noticed his withdrawal.

Ricky and Elena start talking about solutions that might work. For example, perhaps her anxiety would lessen if they dropped their club membership and returned an expensive leased car so that they could start putting away money for a rainy day. She could also look more aggressively at transferring into a less stressful boss-subordinate situation.

As the conversation continues, Elena makes the following sarcastic comment and then goes quiet.

Elena: I guess I can do all the sacrificing again.